Some Thoughts on Academia

Academia, the joke goes, is a place where the politics are nasty because the stakes are small. One could argue whether the stakes are high or not, but the politics within an institution and within the profession are often nasty and snobbish. Many academics see a never to be dissolved hierarchy of institutions with four-year research universities at the top, followed by teaching colleges, followed by community colleges, with k-12 schools as the button rung, and pre-k the ground floor. This hierarchy is also applied to the people who work in these various institutions. With some tenured university professors looking at everyone else as stepchildren to their own mission. The fact, however, is that every single rung on the academic ladder is connected, and no one group can survive without the others. 

Falling back on the old rhetorical tactic of defining terms, let’s look at how academia is defined. Academia is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the life, community, or world of teachers, schools, and education.” The Cambridge Dictionary provides a different definition, “the part of society, especially universities, that is connected with studying and thinking, or the activity or job of studying.”  Oxford Learner’s Dictionary defines “academia” as “the world of learning, teaching, research, etc. at colleges and universities; the people involved in it.” The Online Etymology Dictionary gives us “"the academic community, the world of colleges and universities” while reminding us the term originates from ancient Greece and refers to the places where Plato taught. These definitions illustrate that “academia” focuses on studying and thinking, particularly on the postsecondary level, but not exclusively on that level. It also must be acknowledged that there would be no postsecondary level without secondary and primary levels. In other words, academia can be stretched to encompass all studying, thinking, learning, and the people who do it. 

The prompt of the piece is an unfortunate Twitter exchange that devolved into “you can’t understand academia because you’re not a real academic” with one being a tenured professor and one being a community college instructor--me. It’s not a new discussion, nor one exclusively between university and community college instructors. It happens between K-12 teachers and community college instructors. It happens within institutions between members of various disciplines. The thing is we all need one another, and no one is more valuable than the other. 

I can only speak to the divide between 4-year and 2-year institutions because they are what I know. When I started graduate school in English, it was with the full expectation that I would end with my doctorate and would find a job at a 4-year school and the end of the story. That’s not what happened. I graduated with my University of New Orleans Masters in English in 1994 and went on to do doctoral work at the University of Tulsa the same year. I enjoyed graduate school as a student and as a graduate assistant, both the teaching work and the academic publication work. When dissertation time rolled around and job marketing was a topic of discussion, I fully thought I’d finish the dissertation, and I did buy in somewhat to the “community college is stopgap, second rate work” attitude that was thrown out. Life, however, has a way of opening the eyes. When I had to choose between finishing my dissertation or paying rent and buying food. I chose the rent and food option since adjuncting at the university and the community college and being a data entry clerk was not cutting into my financial situation. 

My first academic job was at an institution in flux. I was hired as a visiting instructor at a former junior college which was transforming into a four-year college. It was a bit of a shock to be hit with the reality of a 5:5 load, but it was fun. I learned to teach developmental classes and further practiced teaching composition classes. At the end of the year, the school chose to focus on Native American Literature, which was not my specialty, and so I hit the market again. Found a full-fledged comprehensive community college where I worked as a developmental English specialist, but their grant ran out, and I finally ended up here where I have been for almost 18 years. 

The main difference I quickly came to see between community college work and university work was I had to teach a lot more. I currently have a 6:5 load--six unique courses in the fall semester and 5 in the spring. I had years where I taught a 7:6 load with 2 summer school courses. An average university instructor has a 4:4 load or lower. I also had to learn several methods of teaching. I have taught in-person classes, asynchronous online classes, and synchronous online classes (Zoom classes before Zoom existed). Since the pandemic, I have listened to so many people wrestle with having to learn these methods of instruction, and I am rather proud to know my community college has a tradition of doing these things, as do many other community colleges. Indeed, community colleges are often innovators when it comes to how courses are presented. 

I also have frequent committees and projects that I am involved in, such as the current state-required program review and self-study for our division. I have also worked on distance learning committees, assessment committees, student activity committees, recruitment committees, and retainment committees, hiring committees, and oh yes, as a member of the faculty senate. I’ve had as many as five committees to handle in the semester on top of teaching. And I am lucky enough to be a faculty advisor to a student organization. For some reason, I always seem to be busy. 

The one major difference I have come to enjoy about community college teaching is that I don’t have to deal with the publish or perish part of the university instructor’s job. I remember that feeling that one must get articles published even before the dissertation was done to look better on the job market. I remember big conferences like MLA and others. I remember how that pressure was real. I also remember how often politics played a role in who and what a journal published that the submitting author had no clue about. I don’t miss that, but nothing is stopping me from doing that except that I don’t need to do it. 

Another thing I have come to enjoy is the opportunity to increase and expand my fields of study. I have the credentials to teach in two fields now. Something that in the 4-year situation would not be a bonus--I wouldn’t be specialized enough there. But on the community college level, it’s a bonus that I can teach in more than one field, that I can explore the links between my two fields and to the other disciplines my students will find themselves in, and I can keep exploring those connected fields. In fact when I do research for myself that’s usually where I find myself--connecting all those dots. 

This lack of required research is where some university professors look down on community college instructors--they don’t realize we can do the research, we choose not to. I am always researching things whether it is because I am working on a second degree or looking into creating a new program. It all requires research, so I have tons of researched information hanging around my office and home. I have a number of papers I’ve written (publication-worthy too, or some of my professors in my second Master's program assured me), and I have the information and the ideas, and eventually, maybe I’ll get to it on my terms. 

Besides getting into silly disagreements on Twitter, I have also been following a number of educators in my state (following one of my former students who lead me into this arena). I must admit to a bit of a wake-up call of my own--often having had the common post-secondary instructor’s thought of “what are they doing in K - 12?” Well, what I have learned is like those in a 4-year school or a 2-year school, K-12 teachers are doing the best that they can in the face of trying times. I have seen the depression and stress expressed by so many of these teachers just as I have seen similar stress and depression in the 4-year and 2-year communities. 

We are more alike than we care to recognize. Just as post-secondary education has had to deal with learning new methods of instruction, so have our siblings in the K - 12 world. It’s not like Zoom classes or classes conducted through masks were common in that environment, but here we all are struggling with these things, and to make it worse for K - 12 teachers, they have to deal with even nastier politics within school boards, school districts, and school administrations, and even among their colleagues. They also have to deal with scared and frustrated parents; something we post-secondary instructors are mostly lucky enough to avoid.  Also, our K - 12 teachers are becoming very aware of how little respect they get from society in general. It’s certainly a lot less than most of us in the postsecondary world receive since we often pile on to it. 

However, we are all part of the same world--that world of studying, learning, and thinking. We all ultimately have the same goal to create people who are thinking, productive, and good. From pre-elementary school to graduate school, we all want to produce thinking people, successful people, kind and responsible people. Sometimes we forget that--just as we forget that without k - 12 there would be no community college, or 4-year college, or graduate school. Sure, those in research institutions create new knowledge, but of what use would it be without the community college and the k - 12 teachers who end up disseminating that knowledge? Or producing the sorts of students who can further disseminate that knowledge? We are all connected and we all need one another. We need to remember that, and we need to do better supporting one another. We should stop worrying about whose bit of academia is the most important or the most special, and remember that we all need one another for there to be any growth or success or future. 

Question 2

 So, continuing the Philosophy project, question 2 is "if you had only a few minutes to live, what would you do with them? What if you only had a few days? What. if you only had twenty years?" 

  Again, this is another question aimed at getting us to think about the meaning of life and what is important. Since my mother died in 2018, I think my answer has changed a bit; while it would certainly have been to make sure your loved ones know you love them for the few minutes portion of the question, and the few days would have been to see as many of those people as I could cram in, but the twenty years might have been nothing different than usual. Since so many deaths have happened in my husband's and my lives, I think now that letting those you love and care about know that is the best answer to all three parts of the question. 

  When this question comes up in the classroom, I always point out to my students that we never know what time we have. We could walk out the door expecting everything to be fine and then be hit by a car. Or, we could find we have many more years than twenty to live life to the lees. In either situation, I believe that letting the people we love know that we love them is always a good option. Whether we do this by telling them, showing them, doing things for them, it matters to both them and us that we let them know this. After all, it is our relationships that make us who we are and allow us to enjoy our lives. 

 So my answer now to all three questions is to show my appreciation for those I love and care about whether I have minutes or decades because they are the important things in life. 

Summer project

 In an effort to be a better instructor and to model some writing, I am going to embark on a summer writing project. 

 In my Intro Philosophy course, I use a text called The Big Questions by Robert Solomon and Kathleen Higgins. 

The book focuses on Philosophy by topic, and the opening chapter is a list of 16 questions (based on famous Philosophical thought experiments). The rest of the chapters have opening and closing questions. My goal is to actually answer all of the questions. I have never done this, and I think by doing so, I will be showing my students how to write about Philosophy. Besides, I think it might be a bit fun. 

I'll post my answers here and share them out; I might as well use this blog for something useful. 

So Let's get started. The first question the text asks is:

Is there anything you would willingly die for? If so, what?

This question sounds deceptively easy. It's about the things we value in life and give meaning to our lives. As most of my students do, my answer is instinctive that I would die for the people I care about most, family. That seems too easy, and in many ways, it is. The answer itself raises the question of what is family? 

"Family" has never been a simple concept. The nuclear family of mom, dad, and children is after all a fairly recent concept, and extended and blended families have been around, well, since fairy tale days. These days, we often talk about the families we create for ourselves--our friends. Are these then also the people we would die for? I am afraid that is a question we may each have to answer for ourselves--but hopefully, none of us have to test our answers. 

Returning to myself, for most of my life if I said family, I mostly meant my mom and me. Yes, I have a larger family of cousins, whom I love, but for most of my life my family was centered on my mom, then it became my mom and my husband, and his mom and sister. Now, it's my husband and his sister and her fiance. Now, this core little group, these are the people for which I might unquestioningly sacrifice myself. 

For my extended and blended family, it's much more complicated. I love my cousins, in-laws, friends, and even students (college students). I would certainly try to help them if they were in danger, but I don't know if I would throw myself in front of a deadly gunshot for them. It's a question I have had to think about given the more dangerous side of our culture. And I don't know what I would do in that situation. I also hope never to be tested. 

Indeed, I hope never to have to be tested on this issue with my family. I want them all to be as safe and healthy as possible--but then, don't we all want that? 

So that's question 1-- it's a bit rough and perhaps, a lot less than perfect, but that is okay. 

We'll see what the next question brings another time. 

Rainy Days

     So, it's been one month since my last post. It hasn't been a good month or a bad month, just a bit busy. Today, thanks to Tropical storm Delta, is a day of 

    Work is busy, of course. I still have six classes, even if they are small. Small classes still take the same amount of prep and grading time. They are going fairly well--only one of my students has had to quarantine for coming into contact with COVID. After a freakout on learning the news, I have settled to realize things are ok.

    I am also taking an Online Best Teaching Practices course for Professional Development. I've taught online on and off since I've been employed by this college, but I never had any formal training. I seem to be doing a lot of things right, and I have to thank my experience of being an online graduate student for that. I gained a lot more than just my second Master's degree through the experience. I am also forcing myself to explore Blackboard (our Learning Management System), and I keep finding new things that I can use. 

    On the diabetic side of things, all seems well. If I behave myself, things go well, and if I don't, things don't go so well. I can at least be more aware of those self-sabotaging things that I do. 

    I don't have much else. I'm trying very hard to stay focused on the small things in my life and not the large and political ones. 

    I do want to mention that Louise Gluck won the Nobel Prize for Literature, and it was one of her poems that brought me back to fairy tales (and how I've taught my comp 2 class for a while now). So I am linking to "Gretel in Darkness". It's a haunting poem about the aftermath of fairy tales, the relationships and the traumas. I find it powerful.

    So, ta ta for now as Tigger says. 

On Being Diabetic

I've probably been a diagnosed diabetic for about fourteen years now. I always figured I would end up one since Type 2 seems to travel in my genetics. My dad was type 2, all of his siblings ended up diabetic, and a number of my cousins are as well. It really seems to be a family affair. 

One of the things about diabetes is that it changes over time, so the medicines change. As medicine progresses, they also change, and so do I. The bad thing about these changes in medicine is that a) they can be expensive and b) they can make you feel worse than ever!

Right now, I am in the process of adding a new medicine to my regime. In the last couple of years, I've changed insulin, switched from one drug in a group to another, and added this new one. Changing insulins was fun because until we got the dosage right, I was loopy as all heck. High blood sugars are not fun. Changing from Farxiga to Jardiance wasn't a problem except in trying to get it approved because my insurance added a pre-authorization just as I ran out, but the actual change in medicine was fine. Adding this new medicine though, this has been a doozy!

I mean it works. It has brought my sugars down, but it might work a bit too well. My doctor had me move onto it slowly, but hitting the highest dose--well, it made me feel awful. Headaches, exhausted, a messed up GI tract, and no appetite. Yikes. These also lead me to a couple of hours where my sugars were a bit too low. My CGM (constant glucose monitor) was giving me readings of 60, 55, and my actual prick-your-finger-and-feed-the-blood-into-the-monitor was saying 70. This was a bit concerning to someone who has never had a hypoglycemic event. We eventually got it up--yum PBJ, but my stomach was a wreck. In the meantime, I emailed my sugar numbers to my doctor, and I made a decision to stick to the middle dose for now because I don't feel like the crud off the bottom of your shoe and my sugars seem more stable. I'll wait to hear from my doctor as well about the higher dose. As you can guess, all of this is not really much fun. 

Hopefully, I settle into this medicine without any more stomach-churning adventures, at least until the next time I have to change medicines. But such is the life of a diabetic. 

Catching Up on Life and Death

Okay, I had forgotten this blog existed, but I think it's time for me to resurrect it. I need a place to think out loud. 

Let's catch up on some life events:

On December 2, 2018, my mom passed away from a combination of her dementia, her aortic stenosis, and a tumor (possibly cancerous) outside of her intestines. I held her hand and talked to her as she passed. I've been recuperating slowly. Grief is always around the corner in some way. 

In February 2019, my uncle passed away from pancreatic cancer that he didn't know he had. Grief is a shapeshifter that grows to encompass so much. 

Then in June of 2019, one of my cats died followed days later by my mom's last dog. Later that year, I lost another one of my cats--my last Oklahoma cat. Grief never really goes away, and it always seems to jump out of the shadows. 

January 2020, my uncle's younger brother (an extended family uncle) passed away also from pancreatic cancer that he'd been battling. Grief stands behind your shoulder. 

Then, of course, Spring 2020 brought COVID-19 and the pandemic. I thank heaven that no one I know has died from it, but it won't be long until it takes someone I care about. A brief reprieve from new grief. 

Then this summer a good friend messaged to tell me he had heart failure and didn't have long to live. Our message ended with him expressing acceptance, and with me offering help. He passed away at the end of August. Grief will bring it all back and punch you in the gut--I'm realizing you have to punch back.

Reading and writing are how I am going to punch back. Grief seems to have stolen my ability to focus for any length of time, but I am punching back by picking up this journal. I am also going to hit my pile of books. 

So I recently purchased two huge books The Tale of the Genji and The Shahnameh (the Persian book of kings), and our common reader this semester is Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann. 

I also to kill time in my office started watching the Crash Course World History series on YouTube. I blame the two 1000 page books on that (not that I teach about those cultures or anything). 

So maybe, just maybe, these things will help me keep punching grief back into a place where I can operate with some peace and focus. 

Lent

I told a friend I was going to try to blog more for Lent because I wanted to be more positive for Lent than giving up something. Of course, we're 10 or so days into Lent, and I haven't blogged. I can make many excuses too busy, too sick, sick mother, sick cat, and all are true, but I just also haven't done so.

Part of that may be the tangled way I feel about Lent. As a lapsed Catholic, but practicing agnostic, I am always confused by how I feel about lent. If I don't believe then why am I atoning? If I do believe, why aren't I atoning? What am I atoning for? Having to answer these sorts of questions may be one reason I haven't sat down to write.

Another reason, procrastination. I am an awful procrastinator. Now I have been sick (right now my left ear is stopped up from allergies), but that doesn't mean I can't make the time. I just keep saying, "Later." THat's my problem with many things...I'll do it later...to do what, right now? I don't know, usually, it's not more than simply sit with family and chill out with tv, but that's really not a good excuse either since I have a laptop and a tablet.

Anyway, 10 days in, and I am going to try to write. It will do my soul and my mind good to get things off of it.